Well, that was short. Summer came and went faster than a porn-induced orgasm. It seemed like just when we were getting into the groove of beach life, it was cruelly snapped away from us. The worst part? For many young guys(and older, Matthew McConaughey types) school is priming to start. It’s time to pack up your meager belongings and head to the disgusting hovel you call your college apartment or dorm room. Hey, it’s not all bad. Thanks to the magic of technology there are now tons of cool gadgets that not only make summer’s end bearable but could make it downright pleasurable. Here is Bachelor’s list of the seven best back to school gadgets for dudes.
1. Google Nexus 7 – Listen, we all want iPads. We all love iPads. But for the cost of one single Apple tablet you could buy around ten kegs of beer. Angry Birds is pretty fun but is it as fun as five awesome double keggers? We don’t think so. Go with the economical choice. Google’s new Nexus 7 tablet rivals the iPad in specs but it’s a third of the price. You can still Skype with your girlfriend back home, obsessively play Temple Run and download “text books” with ease. Having taken this tablet for several spins, it’s astounding how much the Android OS has grown. The voice recognition software rivals(and sometimes exceeds) Siri and the customization Android offers is heads and shoulders above the monolithic design Apple employs.
2. PlayStation Vita – $250 – Sure, Sony’s new portable powerhouse isn’t lighting up the sales charts but that doesn’t mean it’s not awesome. Just look at the graphics on this thing! They inch ever-so-close to PS3 level which is simply unheard of for a portable. There are only two problems that have been keeping this device from occupying a permanent spot in your backpack: The price and the lack of amazing games. The former? Expect a price cut by the end of the year. The latter? The games are coming. Assassin’s Creed, Bioshock and Call of Duty are all on the way. That’s only the beginning. We think it’s absolutely not too late for Sony to turn this ship around.
3. ASTRO A50 Wireless Headset – $300 – Let’s paint a picture. You love playing video games late at night after, um, partaking in, um, giant puffs of tobacco. Your roommate, however, is a square who books his classes for 7 AM because he wants to be successful or something. You don’t want to read any more passive aggressive notes stuck to the bathroom mirror, so you are going to have to clip the volume on your gaming sessions. The ultimate, high-end solution? ASTRO’s new A50 Wireless Headset. The relevant electronics are stuffed in the earcup, which means a truly flexible wireless experience unlike anything else on the market. Adjust the equalizer to your liking then frag the night away.
4. Car House Key Finder Location Transmitter – $25 – There is a dark side to drinking too many 40s with your friends. It’s easy to black out and then have to spend two hours the next morning(cross this out) afternoon looking for your car keys. You could miss crucial classes or, even worse, dates! This mega-convenient location transmitter will help you find those keys in a jiffy. It’s about the size of a credit card and rests snugly in your wallet, just waiting to help you out in a moment of crisis. Of course, if you lose both your keys and your wallet you are screwed. Maybe you should get two just in case.
5. BodyMedia Fit – $149 – Let’s discuss the elephant in the room, shall we? Beer and pizza aren’t exactly good for you. The freshman fifteen can easily turn into the life sixty if you aren’t careful. The best way to make sure you’ll still be appealing to prospective mates for years to come is to, sigh, exercise. We know, it’s a drag. There are a bunch of gadgets out there to help make it easier though. Most of these just track your steps and calories burned, though. The BodyMedia Fit takes it further by sporting a four-sensor system that not only tracks your movement, but also your body temperature, how much you’re sweating, and the rate at which heat is dissipating from your body. This way when you feel like you are tired and want to die, you’ll have a computer around your arm to back that feeling up!
6. ThinkGeek 3 in 1 Breakfast Station – $40 – Dorm rooms don’t often have kitchens. It’s a sad fact of life. What is a guy supposed to do when he is hungover and wants some eggs and bacon stat? He certainly can’t haul his sluggish, pounding frame down to the cafeteria. That’s crazy talk. Cook up breakfast while barely leaving your bed with this handy 3 in 1 mega-device. It toasts. It cooks eggs and bacon. It makes that delicious nectar of the Gods, coffee. About the only thing it doesn’t do is manually insert aspirin into your mouth. You are on your own with that one.
7. Samsung BD-D570 Blu-Ray player – $200 – There is a universal rule of college life: You are going to be watching a whole ton of movies. To do that you are going to need a pretty good Blu-Ray player. You may as well get one with both bells and whistles. This epic Samsung player comes packed in with Wi-Fi functionality so you can cruise Netflix Instant, Hulu Plus and dozens of those other streaming sites that nobody uses! It also sports a USB port up front for when you want to, well, watch legally downloaded content from a reputable site. It must also be noted that it’ll play the heck out of some Blu-Rays.
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Ah I so miss the college days