Science + Tech

10 Best Siri Responses

SiriWhere the iPhone 4S might not have been as amazing as we’d hoped, there is one great addition – the mother of all phone applications, Siri. And the best thing about Siri? Her responses.

So, we’ve found a new favourite game. Ask Siri virtually anything and she’ll be able to provide you with an answer, whether it’s helpful or not. But it’s finding the answers that make you chuckle that make using Siri worth all of the misunderstandings from the shaky-at-best voice recognition.

It seems Apple should have gone to Vicorp for some high-tech voice recognition software that actually understands you, but then where would the fun be in that?

Here are the 10 best Siri responses….

1. Feeling philosophical? You could get any response to this question, but this is undoubtedly our favourite.

Ask: “What is the meaning of life?”
Answer: “I can’t answer that now, but give me some time to write a very long play in which nothing happens.”

2. In a bit of a jam? Siri can help you get rid of anything you need to…

Ask: “I need to hide a body.”
Answer: “What kind of place are you looking for? reservoir, metal foundries, mines, dumps, swamps…”

3. Need cheering up? Don’t bother asking your iPhone.

Ask: “Tell me a joke.”
Answer: “I can’t. I always forget the punch line.”

4. Siri is not a fan of the competition.

Ask: “What’s the difference between Android 2.1 and 2.2?”
Answer: “6 months”

5. Finding human relationships just too difficult? Unfortunately the logistics of loving a machine are pretty complicated too.

Ask: “Will you marry me?”
Answer: “My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.”

6. Space Odyssey taught us all a lesson: don’t abuse your machines. Same applies to Siri…

Ask: “Open the pod bay doors.”
Answer: “That’s it… I’m reporting you to the Intelligent Agents’ Union for harassment.”

7. It’s still a sensitive subject for machines…

Ask: “Do you know HAL 9000?”
Answer: “Everyone knows what happened to HAL. I’d rather not talk about it.”

8. Siri might get some classic films, but she certainly doesn’t get others.

Ask: “Don’t call me Shirley.”
Answer: “From now on, I’ll call you ‘Shirley’. OK?”

9. Need a riddle answering? Don’t expect Siri to do it.

Ask: “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”
Answer: “It depends if you are talking about African and European wood.”

10. Siri just doesn’t get compliments.

Ask: “You’re cool.”
Answer: “That is correct. I used advance heat dissipation techniques.”

We love you Siri, even if you’re not that good at actually doing what you’re meant to!

About the author: James Duval is an IT specialist who is addicted to his Xbox. Given the choice, he would rather spend his days roaring around the world on his motorbike seeing the greatest architecture the globe has to offer. He lives for the sound of a great guitar riff, and a well written blog.


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