They say that when it comes to love, age isn’t nothing but a number. But is this really how it is when it comes to two people with a big age difference in a relationship? Does age really matter?
It Can & Does
In a sense, age does contribute to a relationship being successful or not. Now, don’t get me wrong. Age is just one of the many factors out there that may influence how a relationship works and it is by no means a single factor that will determine if a relationship will work.
There are several couples out there that have a wide gap of 5-20+ years apart from each other and are going strong with their relationships. My mom and dad is one example. They have been married for a while now and there is a 9 year age difference between them.
Even with that being said, there are a lot more couples out there that have broken up because of reasons which can contribute to age like maturity and life experiences. These are actually the main two things that really break down relationships where there is an age difference.
Have You Seen This Couple
Take the couple off of the Bad Girls Club for example. This girl was young in her late teens or early twenties and she was messing around with a guy that looked 30 years her senior.
If you watched how they were on the show, you saw how she wanted to party and mingle and not really want to commit fully.
The guy looked like he was married before, a lot more mature, and had a lot of life’s experiences which she lacked and wanted for herself before really getting into a full blown intimate and real relationship with the guy.
Well, it’s been a while since that season and I’m not sure how they worked out but this is a good example of age difference in relationships and how things could be for other couples in similar situations.
What it Really Comes Down To
So, it seems that age really does matter to a certain extent. Different views, maturity levels, interests, life experiences, goals, and baggage all relate to age in a way and can affect a relationship in a negative way even though the relationship didn’t intend on being affected this way initially.
So, what if you are already in a relationship where there is an age difference and you are afraid things won’t work out due to age? What if you are interested in someone that is a bit younger or older than you but you are not sure if you want to make it into the real thing?
If you are already in a relationship where there is a big age difference and everything is going fine, you don’t have anything to worry about unless you are a teenager and the other person is fully grown or borderline elderly. Yeah, this is rare but it does happen. When it does, it is often a crime – unless you are 18 or older (Depends on where you live). In any case, in these types of situations, the relationship can’t really work.
If things are kinda rocky, you and your partner may need to evaluate your relationship and life goals and see if they coincide with each other in terms of each persons views of things. Can you both get through the issues you are facing despite the age difference or is it really the main culprit of your issues?
If you are interested in someone older or younger, take the time to get to know the person and their views on life and other things before you jump into a relationship with them.
Make sure that you both feel comfortable with each other even in public. Just get to know them as best as you can and lay everything out on the table as far as needs, wants, dislikes, goals, baggage, etc if you are really serious about this person and think you want to give it a go.
Tips For Couples In Relationships With a Big Age Gap
Despite age being the main focus of this article, couples are couples and age is only one factor that can have an impact whether positive or negative on relationships. If you know what makes a relationship work and bring those things to the table in any of your relationships with anyone and they do the same thing, there is a good chance that things will go smoothly with occasional ups and downs since no relationship is going to be perfect.
If you are happy and they are happy, then you can put that age thing behind you. Just make sure that there isn’t too much of a huge age gap. I personally do not condone relationships that are made of teens (19 and under) and overly grown people (30+). Also, these types of relationships just don’t work out and cause a lot of trouble including legal ones.
Here are few other helpful tips from Alex Wise a s relationship expert from Loveawake dating site, for those in relationships where there is a big age difference. Keep in mind that the age difference nowadays that is considered the norm is 3-5 years. So, “big” is usually anything after 5 years.
- Make sure that you are completely truthful when it comes to telling your partner about future goals
- Be prepared for the how people will react to the huge age gap (family, friends, society) Be Strong!
- Be prepared to deal with sex related issues and find ways to make things work if sexual issues arise (Because they do especially when there is an age gap)
- Try to find common interests or hobbies that you both can share with each other
- Only enter or proceed with the relationship if you both truly love and care for each other and not for other reasons (wrong reasons – money, etc)
- Get new “positive” buddies. If your current friends think your relationship is gross or do not agree with it, make new ones that cheer you on or are simply positive minded.
- Accept that you are in a relationship where there is an age gap as well as the differences that come along with the relationship due to the age of your partner. Compromise and try to make things work.
- Talk with other couples that are similar to you or get inspiration from couples that are doing well despite their age differences. Celebrity couples are a good example.
- Be Strong! I said it earlier and I will say it again. Be strong and try to be as positive as you can be about the relationship especially if things are going well. Society or people close to you may judge you or look down on you but if you are happy, that is what matters.