Get engaged and suddenly advisors come out of the woodwork. Ten minutes after the guy pops the question, everyone he knows begins adding his or her two-cents on what makes a marriage work. It matters not if the impromptu marriage counselors are young, old, married, or divorced; all are suddenly experts on the topic of marriage bliss and how it is fulfilled.

Parents, friends, siblings and perfect strangers compliment her diamond engagement ring and right before the eyes of the bride-to-be acquaintances transform into advice columnists; Dear Abby or Ann Landers. Everyone has an opinion. Free, unsolicited advice abounds. Well, the truth of the matter is, you do not have to be Dr. Phil to have an opinion about marriage. Happily married people, and even those who are not have gathered gems from their very real life experiences. Seems a well-placed compliment, a congratulatory salute, is not enough when marriage is on the line.

At the moment of truth, if you come up short, unable to prescribe an appropriate tutoring to the betrothed, arm yourself with a few quotes from below. Keep the following quotes on how to improve your marriage in your back pocket, for those moments when you come up short. Some are humorous, others serious and some down right ridiculous. No doubt if you are married or soon will be, you’ve heard one or two of these before. A word to the wise; don’t write them off. Apply the quotes that speak to your marriage and circumstances. After all, they’re quotable for a reason.

Funny Marriage Quotes

1. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” Phyllis Diller

2. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx

3. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” Rodney Dangerfield

4. “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.” Red Skelton

5. “Some women pick men to marry, and others pick them to pieces.” Mae West

6. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner

Sweet Marriage Quotes

7. “An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” Agatha Christie

8. “The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.” Nick Hornby

9. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

10. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” Proverbs 18:22

11. “Love is a choice you make everyday.” Dr. Gary Chapman-author of The Five Love Languages

Best Advice Marriage Quotes

12. “Any woman who still thinks marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition is only proving that she doesn’t understand either men or percentages.” Rose F. Kennedy

13. “Weddings remind us that our lives have meaning and that love is the strongest bond, the happiest joy, and the loveliest healing we can ever experience.” Daphne Rose Kingma

14. “What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” George Eliot

15. “Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that many people enter into a relationship in order to get something out: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” Anthony Robbins

16. “Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins” Lao Tzu

17. “I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.” Dr. Gary Chapman- author of The Five Love Languages

18. “Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” I Corinthians 13:4-8

Jason Bacchetta is a net entrepreneur and the founder of Quoto.com, where thousands of famous quotations exist. You can connect with him on Google+.

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