It’s said that couples go to marriage counseling for one of two things: to save a marriage or to end one. Saving one takes a lot of work, but a committed couple and a good counselor can make it happen. No matter how endangered a marriage might seem, there are 5 common problems that a marriage counselor can help with.
#1. Lack of Communication
Lack of communication can be obvious, or it can hide and manifest itself in several ways. For example, little tiffs and arguments about how to raise the kids can all stem from the same thing: lack of communication. Communicating isn’t something that anyone is born knowing how to do. It’s a skill and, yes, sometimes a talent. It takes practice and guidance to get it right.
Very few people cheat because they find someone else more desirable than their spouse. It often stems from not feeling appreciated or not knowing how to communicate needs to their spouse. Again, it often comes back to lack of communication with a little selfishness or victimization tossed in. A marriage can survive infidelity, but sometimes the help of a counselor is needed to get there.
#3. The In-Law Conundrum
Dealing with in-laws has become classic fodder for sitcoms because it’s so common. When someone gets married, quite often they really do marry an entirely new family. The chances of getting on 100% with a group of people is slim at best. However, a marriage counselor can help couples learn the tools necessary to handle extended family issues.
#4. Lack of Appreciation
It’s unfortunate but natural to start taking someone for granted. However, a lack of appreciation leads to lack of communication and sometimes marital affairs. Re-learning how to appreciate a spouse is one of the most important ways to save, sustain and enjoy a marriage. It’s often not something that a person can just decide to do. It takes dedication and a conscious effort.
#5. The Romance Died
Most romances can be re-kindled with the right amount of effort. With marriage, kids, jobs and aging parents, it’s easy to let romance slip between the cracks. Sometimes it’s difficult to get that spark ignited again, and couples mistakenly think it should be easy if they’re “really in love.” Don’t discount the realities of stress and growing apart–but realize that it can be rekindled with work.
Marriage counselors aren’t miracle workers, but it can certainly seem that way. Before throwing in the towel, see what a marriage counselor can do to help.