You can bust open that tube of “biscuits” from Big Food, Inc. with god-knows-what chemicals, preservatives and crap, or you can make these.

Baking experience needed? None. These guys are simple to make.

They will expand to twice their size, they will be as light as air, and you will be happy you spent a quiet Sunday morning making them while the coffee is brewing.

Your kids will worship you like a conquering hero. That guy/girl lying in your bed isn’t up yet – the smell will get them up in due time.

I suggest Morning Edition from NPR, or your favorite Pandora channel as an accompaniment.

You need this stuff:

  • 2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for the counter
  • 2 tablespoons baking powder
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 5 tablespoons of unsalted butter (throw it in the freezer now)
  • 1 cup whole milk

Sift the flour, sugar, salt and baking powder into a big bowl.

Grab the butter out of the freezer (you want it super cold) and cut it into pats. Take a couple of forks or a pastry cutter and smash the butter until it’s mixed in, with just little chunks visible.

Add the milk. Stir it with a fork until it’s in a little ball.

Toss some flour on the counter. Dump the ball  of dough on it. Pat it down until it looks like a rectangle. Flip/fold it a few times. stop when the dough is not sticky/wet anymore.

Throw a kitchen towel over the dough.

Grab your iPad and surf for 30 minutes. You can make that coffee now.

Preheat the oven to 425.

Pat out the dough so it’s a rectangle that’s about 8 inches by 4 inches. This doesn’t have to be precise; just don’t make the dough too thin. You’re going to want these babies to rise.

Use a biscuit cutter or a juice glass (with some butter on the rim) and cut the dough into biscuits.

DANGER- Do not twist your cutter. Just push it down and lift it back up. Killer baking secret – If you twist it, the dough won’t awesomely rise.

Place the biscuits on a cookie sheet, throw it in the oven, and set the timer for 10 minutes.

Don’t cheat. Leave the door shut.

Look on the bottom of a biscuit – is it golden brown?

I bet they’re huge, too.

Take ’em out. Eat them.

You’ll have company in the kitchen by this time.