To the disbelief of all of my friends, and perhaps you the reader, I have never gotten a manicure.  I have the habit of anxiety nail biting.  So they never really grow long enough for a decent manicure.  Fake nails never appealed to me, because I’m not sure about chewing on acrylic when my next deadline looms.

That is why I am in awe of the world’s most expensive manicure: The Iced Manicure, a gaudy $51,000/10-carat diamond extravaganza.  From the mastermind of Cherish… Me (such a clever name) based in London, Britain, this brazenly over-the-top nail art features an arrangement of 10 carats of diamonds and the consumer’s own team of in-home nail experts.  For $51,000, nail experts will travel to anywhere in the world to adhere the sparklies onto your nails, provide maintenance, after-care, and diamond removal.

For $51,000, I prefer to have one or a several whole diamonds permanently affixed on a piece of jewelry that I don’t have to worry about accidental chewing and swallowing.

From the maker of the graceful Kate Middleton and classic Audrey Hepburn, I am disappointed in the great UK.  With Kate Middleton fever sweeping the world, I have a hard time believing she would don something as garish as nail bling.  For anyone who wants to be tasteful and carry an air of understated sophistication, stick to basic or neutral nail color.

To the handful of individuals who actually have $51,000 burning a hole in their Chanel or Hermes Birkin handbag: write a check to charity instead.  Save a few lives or make several someones’ holiday season more magical.  Gratification will be a lot longer term than a 2-week manicure.