If you have browsed the popular dating sites, you can easily tell just how many people are online daters. It’s ridiculously popular, primarily because it is EASY.
Therein lies the problem though… since it’s easy, guys tend to make the mistake of writing the same old boring claptrap to women time and time again.
The women at these sites get a ton of email daily, especially if they are particularly attractive. So you have to separate yourself from the typical rank and file drone that inhabits these sites by being original.
Here are 6 things you should avoid saying at all cost to a woman, because they will make you looke like every other lame schmoe out there trying to get a date.
NEVER SAY: “I just came across your profile”
This line has been used over and over and over again, and its boring. It will do nothing to engage the girl you’re writing to or make you stand out from the other losers who are emailing her.
Remember – EVERY guy tends to say stuff like this.
And the worst thing is – you are stating the obvious! Of course you came across her profile, otherwise you wouldn’t be emailing her, would you?
NEVER SAY: “I figure that I probably won’t hear from you, but…”
This is a sure-fire way to never hear back from a girl, because you come off as insecure and lacking in confidence.
Understand that confidence is the number one thing that attracts women, Therefore, by saying this, you’re doing THE EXACT OPPOSITE of the thing which attracts women.
Instead, turn it around. Say something like “I can’t wait to hear back from you – but I’m super busy, so please be patient if I don’t get back to you right away.”
NEVER SAY: “I’m not what you’re looking for, but…”
Let’s be clear – self sabotage is never good! You may think you’re being endearing by stating you’re not what she’s looking for, but in her mind she’s thinking “Uh genius, then why are you even writing me?”
If you’re going to write a women who’s looking for something you’re not, go in with confidence.
You can’t email a woman thinking you’re not going to get a response. That’s a waste of your time AND hers!
Always take the position that you’re EXACTLY what she’s looking for, even if you don’t meet the specifics she states in her profile.
NEVER SAY: “If you decide not to write me back, can you please take a minute and tell me why?”
This statement has the underlying assumption that she is going to reject you. To boot, it sounds desperate.
Not only that, but you’re also asking her to bad-mouth you and point out what’s wrong with you TO YOUR FACE!
That is not healthy, and it doesn’t build confidence.
Most of the time, women don’t reply to online dating emails because they’re not paying to be a member of the site, and CAN’T respond even if they want to.
If you don’t hear back from a girl, don’t linger on it. There are plenty more women to contact who WILL respond back.
NEVER SAY: “Would you like to join our swingers group sometime?”
Okay, for real, if I even have to explain why this is so wrong…. forget it.
If you are in a swingers group and looking for a girl to take along, there are SPECIFIC websites to find girls who are into that. Saying anything overtly sexual or off-the-wall right off the bat is not a good way to start things off.
Focus on being funny, charming, and engaging. Not a creep. Women get too much of that already from being online.
NEVER SAY: “I wanted to see if there was more to you than just another pretty face.”
Can you say “cliche?” I know you can! This is probably one of the most used lines by guys trolling online dating sites. Seriously, guys think they’re being clever by issuing a “challenge” like this, but it’s just as bad as saying “Can I buy you a drink?” at a bar.
Its true, you should try and challenge every girl you contact to engage with you, but the best way to do that is to be funny and interesting, not cliche!
So you could say something like “Okay, did you hire someone to write your profile for you, because you seem to be too good to be true. You’re not really a creepy guy with acne who lives in his parent’s basement, are you?”
See how much better that is?
The key to this is remembering one simple fact: you have to stand out from other guys to be successful. Before sending an email out, ask yourself if it seems like a typical line that fits the mold of the above mentioned ones. Or the same overall emotional tone. If it is, then you should change it.
Do it and watch your success skyrocket.